Waffling

wafflingpresent participle of waf·fle (Verb)

Verb:

Fail to make up one's mind: "Joseph had been waffling over where to go". Speak or write, esp. at great length, without saying anything important or useful. I think that pretty much sums everything up--on both counts. This morning/early afternoon, I was feeling sort of content with the idea of just letting everything go.  If we get pregnant, we get pregnant.  If our lawyer calls, he calls.  If not, we'll be just fine as a family of three.  We'll have more opportunities and more money to find those opportunities. Then... At Walmart, we ran into a lady we know.  She was on her phone, but hurriedly hung up to come over to talk to me.  She has a dresser that is for sale, but it was far more than what we can spend.  She said she has another dresser that she'd love to give to us to use in our future child's room.  She felt like it was a God-thing that she ran into us, as she just got a new smart phone and wasn't sure how to send me a message about it on Facebook.  She is so happy about being able to help us in this way. So then... I was completely at odds with myself (again...trust me, it is exhausting) on what to do.  I spoke to my husband about my feelings and, of course, he is fine with whatever I choose to do.  I told him I felt like a disappointment to him since I can't give him another child without great difficulty.  He responded with his, "No, no, no...you aren't a disappointment," while patting me on the head.  LOL. And then... I noticed my mom was on Facebook, so I started chatting with her.  I told her how I was feeling and how I, essentially, have to come to some sort of conclusion on my own since my husband is voicing no opinion either way.  (A quality that can be endearing in some cases, but frustrating in others).  She told me that she thinks we should at least try foster/adoption.  She doesn't want me to regret not taking a chance on this...and I know she is right that I may, in fact, regret not exhausting every option available to me.  She pointed out that if we get into it and decide it is not for us, we can stop.  BUT, we may find that it is the best thing we've ever done and it may lead us directly to our second child.  I think she's right and I plan on taking her advice.  It is amazing how one conversation can make you feel so much better--especially from your mom.  It's true when they say you will always need your mom.  I'm thankful that mine is so great and always in my corner.