This morning, I woke up from a very vivid dream about my D&C. It put me in a funk this morning, but I was determined to shake it. I was also a bit down because I learned about 2 more people being pregnant and due close to when I was. Then, my husband came home from work this morning and told me that one of his co-worker's wives is very newly pregnant. I know he meant no malice by it, but I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.
The reality is, I know 7 people who will be having babies when I was supposed to. I will watch them develop cute baby bellies, see their pictures, and eventually give birth. The reality is, I am the statistic. Do I feel anger toward the pregnant women? No, of course not. It isn't their fault that I lost my baby. They shouldn't have any less joy because I can only dream of holding my baby. The world doesn't stop for me or my loss--and it shouldn't. It doesn't make it any easier, though.
So, I cry, write a blog entry, and get over it...at least for today.
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