As I said before, I feel pretty strong, despite the circumstances. My healing to this point has been thanks to several different factors. The first and foremost is my incredible support system. Because of the wonder that is the internet, I had a multitude of people praying for us and checking in on me. I have friends and family locally--and not so locally--who took time to give us some comfort. Some sent emails, some text messages or called, other sent flowers and cards. I got a log of hugs and offers to help in anyway that people could. I don't think I could have picked myself up the way I did had I not had so many people lifting me up. I have to also give kudos to my husband. He has absolutely been my rock throughout this. He's held me and not said a word when that was exactly what I needed, let me cry and scream to him, taken time off of work to be with me (he doesn't take time off of work for himself, so that is a huge thing), and really stepped up with things around the house. He's always been a great guy, husband, and father, but I feel like a blessing out of this tragedy is that we have come even closer together.
Another way that I deal with things is writing...hence this blog. The night that I started miscarrying, I wrote this poem. It isn't my best work, but it was written in the heat of the moment and is full of my raw emotion:
Little Baby
Little baby
I dreamed of you
I prayed for you
We talked, we tried and tried
Soon, you were on your way
Little baby
One fine day
I saw two lines
We danced, we rejoiced, we sang
Soon, you were on your way
Little baby
Momma saw you
Daddy saw you
Sister saw you
Little baby
My body changed
As you grew
We shopped, we laughed, we dreamed
Soon, you were on your way
Little baby
One sad day
I saw red
We called, we paced, we begged
Soon, you were on your way
Little baby
They said no
You were gone
We sighed, we screamed, we cried
But you were on your way
Oh, little baby
Momma’s gonna be alright
Daddy’s gonna be alright
Sister’s gonna be alright
Hush now baby…sleep
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