It Gets Worse (Warning: A bit graphic)

I had a hard time sleeping again, thinking about everything.  I had also started feeling a bit crampy, but I assumed that was because I'd had so many exams in a short period of time.  Around midnight, my cramps turned into much more--contractions.  The contractions were very painful and only gave me a few minutes of relief between them.  This went on for a couple of hours until I felt a 'pop' and then a gush.  I ran to the bathroom and lost a lot of blood and some clots and/or tissue.  All the while, I was still having very painful contractions.  A few minutes later, I felt like things had let up, so I put a pad in and went back to bed.  About a half hour later, I was back in the bathroom with the same thing.  This pattern continued for a few hours, then the contractions fell back into something more like period-cramps.  I was still having to run to the bathroom and eventually left the light on because I knew I'd be back.  I began to feel faint and light-headed from all of the blood loss.  Because my D&C was scheduled for the next day, I wasn't to eat or drink anything after midnight.  At one point, I had to lie on the bathroom floor to keep from passing out.  Around 6 am, the bleeding finally slowed enough that I could fall asleep.

Through all of this, I started feeling angry.  In my mind, I asked God, "Where are you and why are you making me go through this?  I already lost the baby and now I have to suffer even more?"  I begged God to make it stop.  I asked my husband what I'd done to deserve such a horrible thing.  It truly was the worst thing I've gone through up to this point in my life.  However, I think that it somehow helped me to accept and cope with the loss of the baby.  There was no question that the baby was gone.

The next morning, I went in to have yet another sonogram.  The doctor wanted to see how much tissue was remaining.  I made sure not to look at the screen this time.  The nurse called me on the way back to the clinic to tell me that I needed to head over to the surgical center for my D&C.  I was nervous and agitated about it.  I said to my husband, "This just keeps getting better, doesn't it?  I lose the baby, suffer through a natural miscarriage, and now I have to have a D&C on top of it?  Happy freakin' birthday to me!"

Despite my feelings about everything, the D&C was very smooth.  The nurses were kind and funny.  I had no complications from the anesthesia or the procedure.  At this point, I'd say that I'm probably fully recovered, although I do still tire a lot more quickly than my norm.