The End is Looming

I know I've said it before, but I have a feeling in my gut that we will not be able to conceive another child.  Last weekend, I held my cousin's newborn baby and truly felt that our family is not complete.  We need another squishy baby of our own.  This means that I am beginning to re-investigate adoption.  I currently have several web pages open and my heart is beating fast and I have a butterfly-feeling in my stomach.  Admittedly, I am terrified of adoption.  I'm afraid of rejection and of an even longer wait.  I'm afraid of fees that we cannot afford.  I'm afraid of problems with the birth mother/family and delays with finalization.  I'm afraid of having our hearts broken again.