Respite?

A former classmate is a social worker and suggested that we look into short-term respite care and police protection care (~3 days in each case) through the foster care system.  I thought I had put foster/adopt out of my mind.  We don't want kids in and out of our home after we've gotten attached to them.  However, I feel like I might be able to be okay with a very short-term placement.  It would get our home study done, get our name in the system, and fill our empty crib.  Our last experience with foster/adopt was not a pleasant one.  Our social worker really soured our opinion of it, so I'm not sure how my husband would feel about approaching this again.

The other problem is that the home study is extremely demanding.  It is much different than a home study for a "regular" adoption.  The thought of starting on it again is overwhelming.

Moving On

My doctor didn't up my dosage of Clomid (which I expected since I have been ovulating with it).  He didn't say how long he's going to have me keep going, nor did he give me any suggestions to help with CM.  So, I opted to do some research on my own.  I have found that I should a) drink a LOT of water b) take vitamin C together with grapeseed oil d) drink four cups of green tea a day and/or e) take evening primrose oil until ovulation, then switch to fish oil.  I'm doing them all.  LOL.  HOPEFULLY there will be a difference.

It's a No-Go

This cycle is officially over.  I'm going to call my doctor's office tomorrow and ask a few questions.  First, I want to know how long my doctor will have me take Clomid before he says it's over.  Most things I read say six cycles, but also no more than twelve cycles over a lifetime.  This was cycle #12 for me (over time) and cycle #4 this round.  Also, I have just about zero CM at the time of ovulation, which is probably part of my issue.  My doctor recommended I take Mucinex at ovulation to thin it, but if there isn't anything to thin, then it won't do any good.  I'm hoping there will be something else he can prescribe to take care of this problem.

Adoption Stumbling Block

I created a website for potential birth mothers/families to learn about us.  I felt it was a good idea until someone gave me a head's up that it may be illegal in my state.  I researched the law and it says this:


Use of Advertisement
Citation: Ann. Stat. § 59-2123(a)(1), (b)-(c)

No person shall advertise that such person will adopt, find an adoptive home for a child, or otherwise place a child for adoption. This provision shall not apply to a licensed child-placing agency. As used in this section, advertise means to communicate by newspaper, radio, television, handbills, placards or other print, broadcast, telephone directory, or electronic medium.

I don't always understand legal jargon, but I think this says that I need to take my website down and I'm not allowed to put the word out about us in any other way except through an agency or a lawyer.  All of this is so frustrating and we haven't even officially begun.  ::sigh::

Tempted

This morning, I was tempted to take a pregnancy test.  I have no real reason to believe that I could be pregnant this cycle, but the post-ovulation symptoms get me every time.  It is only 7 DPO, so it would be extremely early even if I were pregnant.  It's more wishful thinking than anything, I'm sure.  Wouldn't it be lovely, though?

Here and There

First and foremost, I ovulated!  I'm very pleased that last cycle was more of a fluke than a pattern.  Now I have to wait.

On the adoption front, I contacted several lawyers and one agency to get a feel for what they require of potential adoptive families.  Unfortunately, they all want $20-$30K.  All of them also require a $750 application fee, with the remaining amount due 24 hours after a match.  None of the money would roll over if a match fails, either...we would have to start over from scratch if that were to happen. There is just no way that we can afford that kind of financial burden.  Not now nor any time in the future.

All we can do is hope and pray that a child will come into our lives soon--either biologically or through a private adoption.

The End is Looming

I know I've said it before, but I have a feeling in my gut that we will not be able to conceive another child.  Last weekend, I held my cousin's newborn baby and truly felt that our family is not complete.  We need another squishy baby of our own.  This means that I am beginning to re-investigate adoption.  I currently have several web pages open and my heart is beating fast and I have a butterfly-feeling in my stomach.  Admittedly, I am terrified of adoption.  I'm afraid of rejection and of an even longer wait.  I'm afraid of fees that we cannot afford.  I'm afraid of problems with the birth mother/family and delays with finalization.  I'm afraid of having our hearts broken again.