A couple of weeks ago, after some greatly extended bleeding, I had a realization--I had another miscarriage. This time, it had to have been too early to know, which is a blessing, if there is one to be had in this situation.
I have been mostly numb about it--no real feelings either way. I had a few misty-eyed moments, but I've handled it fairly well. I'm choosing to believe that it is yet another sign that we are meant to adopt.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
God: "In Case You Didn't Hear Me..."
In the last week or so, I have been inundated by all things adoption.
First, I contacted a pregnancy crisis center that also facilitates private adoptions. We have their initial application sitting on our dining room table now. They charge $500 for their processing fee, which I thought was reasonable, considering others we have researched.
After posting a happy status on Facebook regarding our newfound information, I was contacted by three people with additional resources and/or advice. One lady recently adopted and is a wealth of knowledge and contacts. She knows of a couple of lawyers in a nearby city who do not charge to be on their "list," and another who charges $250. She also had some great tips on how to navigate the system and offered to help in anyway she can. Another has worked with various lawyers and is happy to help. Yet another offered the name of a person who has helped with adoptions and is gathering more information for us. Also, my mom may have found a company that will match up to $2500 for us if we do a fund-raiser.
In the last two days, I attended a leadership training course. I talked to one person about our desire to adopt and he pointed me toward the president of the organization who adopted two of his children. I'm going to email him and get his perspective on things.
Tonight, I talked to someone to get ideas about fund-raising and she is going to dream up some things for us. We were also told that we have access to a personal loan if a situation comes out of the blue before we have funds secured.
In sum, I think it is very clear that we are to adopt. I don't think God could be any clearer in what His purpose is for us if He were standing in front of us, yelling. And maybe He is.
So, in the next few months, we will be gathering information and resources and setting up a real game-plan. We will figure out the best people to sign up with and then start to gather/raise funds. A private adoption will cost us about $6000, so we have an uphill battle in that aspect. I know that things will fall into place if this is truly what we are meant to do, though, so I'm trying not to worry too much about the money.
Please respond with any ideas that you may have. We can use all the help we can get and any and all ideas will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
First, I contacted a pregnancy crisis center that also facilitates private adoptions. We have their initial application sitting on our dining room table now. They charge $500 for their processing fee, which I thought was reasonable, considering others we have researched.
In the last two days, I attended a leadership training course. I talked to one person about our desire to adopt and he pointed me toward the president of the organization who adopted two of his children. I'm going to email him and get his perspective on things.
Tonight, I talked to someone to get ideas about fund-raising and she is going to dream up some things for us. We were also told that we have access to a personal loan if a situation comes out of the blue before we have funds secured.
In sum, I think it is very clear that we are to adopt. I don't think God could be any clearer in what His purpose is for us if He were standing in front of us, yelling. And maybe He is.
So, in the next few months, we will be gathering information and resources and setting up a real game-plan. We will figure out the best people to sign up with and then start to gather/raise funds. A private adoption will cost us about $6000, so we have an uphill battle in that aspect. I know that things will fall into place if this is truly what we are meant to do, though, so I'm trying not to worry too much about the money.
Please respond with any ideas that you may have. We can use all the help we can get and any and all ideas will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
October 15
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I lit my candle twenty-one minutes ago in honor of Baby May.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Research
I subscribe to a newsletter published by www.celiac.com. One of the articles in their newest newsletter discussed research on infertility related to Celiac disease. The research wasn't conclusive, but it gave me a bit of hope. Two statements jumped out at me amid the medical jargon: Women who experience CD-related infertility tend to experience 1) increased infertility in the two years leading up to diagnosis and 2) increased fertility in the five years post-diagnosis--as in, fertility beyond that of women without CD. Obviously the second half of the statement hasn't come to fruition for me, but it does give me something.
In other news, I am currently at CD 20. If my body is working correctly, AF should show soon. I'm hoping that if I am not pregnant, I at least get some closure sooner this cycle than last.
This was our last cycle actively TTC until late March or April. I will be student teaching in the fall and it wouldn't be prudent to give birth in the middle of that semester. March would give us a December baby...right around graduation. Again, I'm NOT holding my breath.
In other news, I am currently at CD 20. If my body is working correctly, AF should show soon. I'm hoping that if I am not pregnant, I at least get some closure sooner this cycle than last.
This was our last cycle actively TTC until late March or April. I will be student teaching in the fall and it wouldn't be prudent to give birth in the middle of that semester. March would give us a December baby...right around graduation. Again, I'm NOT holding my breath.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Small Update
This time of year is difficult for me. The two year anniversary of the loss of our baby because of my Celiac disease is rapidly approaching...on my birthday. Last night, I cried myself to sleep thinking about our baby and the terrible time we've had TTC for the past three years. I prayed that I either can feel peace in never having another child or reassurance and patience that we WILL have another. This afternoon, we went to my mom's for lunch. Someone asked her if we still want to adopt. She said that we certainly do, so the lady mailed her a pamphlet to give me. It is for an organization that helps pregnant women make decisions about abortion, adoption, or keeping their baby. They also help to facilitate private adoptions. I sent them an email right away to get more info about becoming a potential adoptive family. I don't know if this is supposed to be a sign or answer to my prayer, but I will take what I can get at this point!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Daughter
And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”
Today was my university's opening church service. The message by the pastor was centered around this verse. It struck me and brought tears to my eyes. The woman in the story suffered for twelve years and was miraculously healed because of her faith.
My husband and I decided to try for a baby on our own again seriously this cycle. My last cycle was text-book, which is fantastic for me. If we were somehow able to get pregnant, we would be due in May. An early summer baby would be perfect so that I could have three months at home before student teaching in the fall and not "interfere" much with the spring semester. Of course, "the best laid schemes of mice and men / Go oft awry." We'll give it our best shot and have faith that we will be holding another baby of our own soon. I can't wait. The hubs can't wait. Our daughter can't wait.
I must have faith.
Today was my university's opening church service. The message by the pastor was centered around this verse. It struck me and brought tears to my eyes. The woman in the story suffered for twelve years and was miraculously healed because of her faith.
My husband and I decided to try for a baby on our own again seriously this cycle. My last cycle was text-book, which is fantastic for me. If we were somehow able to get pregnant, we would be due in May. An early summer baby would be perfect so that I could have three months at home before student teaching in the fall and not "interfere" much with the spring semester. Of course, "the best laid schemes of mice and men / Go oft awry." We'll give it our best shot and have faith that we will be holding another baby of our own soon. I can't wait. The hubs can't wait. Our daughter can't wait.
I must have faith.
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