If I Didn't Know Better

I'd think I were pregnant.  My boobs hurt, I'm now on CD 44, I feel slightly crampy with nothing to show for it, I'm exhausted, etc.  BUT, I'm not pregnant.  Instead, I'm still waiting.  And waiting.  I suppose the positive side to this is that the longer I wait, the further into the "safe zone" as far as a due date goes.  Maybe tomorrow?

Still Waiting

This is a common theme in my life...waiting.  As of today, I am on CD 41.  I really thought that I would be onto my last waiting cycle before starting Clomid again by now.  Last night, I was feeling very torn on whether I should wait a whole cycle on top of whenever this one ends, or take Clomid this next cycle.  Then, someone posted this status on Facebook, "No one can predict the future, you just need to live your life, do the right things and everything will be exactly as it was meant to be."  I read that at the exact moment that I needed it.  I am NOT in control.  I know that.  I just need to trust that life is working out exactly the way it is supposed to.  Just like the quote says, I just need to do what I need to do and we'll get there.


So, I'm going to start Clomid this next cycle.  I'm going to work very hard at not over analyzing or over stressing.  It will be difficult, but I'll keep reminding myself of the FB status.  

01/28/2012 Thankfulness

1.  I'm thankful that I kept my appointment at our local cancer center for a free skin cancer screening.  Unexpectedly, the doctor found an area that is on its way to becoming cancerous.  I should be able to to have it frozen off or treated with a topical chemotherapy and be okay.  However, the doctor wants me to wear long sleeves with SPF protection while I work in the sun from now on.

2.  I am thankful for my husband's ability to make me laugh no matter what.

3.  I am thankful for a restful weekend.

01/27/2012 Thankful List

1.  I am thankful for a lovely, unexpected dinner with my grandparents.
2.  I am thankful for the quiet afternoon and evening at home with my daughter.
3.  I am thankful for my husband's job.  I am so proud of him and it makes me happy to see him light up with pure glee when he gets to do something cool.

While I Wait

For now, there are no updates on our fertility issues.  We are waiting until my cycle that begins in March to start my last shot at Clomid.  I'm busy with school, so time is ticking by, but I still anticipate the day we can begin again, officially.

In the mean time, I have decided to post three things I am thankful for each day.  I need to remain positive, so this will help.

1.  I am thankful for lunch with my mom, husband, and daughter.
2.  I am thankful for a much, much lighter load this semester
3.  I am thankful for invigorating discussions with intelligent people who share my interests.

New Cycle

Today, I am beginning a new cycle.  My past one was 33 days, which has been (more or less) average for some time.  If my cycles keep at this pace, I am two away from beginning Clomid again.  If get pregnant right away (Ha!  What a novel concept!), I would be due around Christmas.  We'll take anything we can get, of course.

Onward and upward.

Back from OB/GYN

My annual appointment went exactly as I could have hoped.  I told him that I have been officially diagnosed with Celiac disease and provided him with a list of my cycle lengths since going gluten-free.  He said that it appears (as I suspected) that I am ovulating about half of the time.  That isn't great, but it is much better than it used to be.  Therefore, I will be starting Clomid at 100 mg in two cycles.  I will also take Mucinex during ovulation to help with any drying of CM that usually occurs with Clomid (at least for me).  He said his buddies who specialize in infertility recommend Mucinex, which sounds kind of funny, but that's good enough for me.

He said he still believes I am a good candidate for Clomid therapy, particularly since I ovulated while taking it even before the Celiac disease diagnosis.

I'm praying for a drug-induced miracle.  The next twelve months will be our last shot to conceive (and hopefully deliver) a child.